A Year in Review: Behind-the-Scenes of Being a Sex Priestess
among other things....
While many think I’m no stranger to rebirth (especially going by the name Phoenix), I’m still swimming in the fog of transformation that 2024 brought me through. Like a caterpillar preparing for it’s rebirth, I’m still stewing in the soup of my own being, ready to re-emerge anew.
The death of a loved one can do that to people I suppose.
Make you face your own mortality and question how you’ve been spending your existence.
Some of you may have noticed that I deleted my IG Page.
The last few months have been a massive rebirth portal, and I went deep into the cave of reflection: specifically reflection on how I wanted to show up in the world, share my work, and also share my voice & widsom.
TBH there were times I felt ready to walk away from everything - and burn it all to the ground. I guess with a name like Phoenix, you’d think I’m pretty comfortable with a soul shedding...yet it always seems to sneak up when I least expect it.
The past year has taught me a lot, with many themes around deepening my own skills and knowledge in holding space for others in Sacred Sexuality (learning from many great teachers), alongside learning from plant medicine teachers, and sonic teachers (including some of my fav festivals).
I also shared my work, wisdom and voice in a diversity of ways: from panels, stages, festivals, and podcasts to workshops and VIP retreats and experiences with 1-1 clients.
It was also a big year of letting go and release. So as we all digest the medicine and gifts 2024 held - I’d love to share a little BTS of my life from this past year.
JANUARY: Still in the healing space after a heartbreak, I did Somatic Embodiment Academy’s Level 1 Breathwork Training, and spent a week going deep into somatic embodiment practices, breathwork and releasing trauma. Nestled on a beautiful little island in the oceans of B.C., I released a lot, hugged my pain, and found a new sense of peace enter my being. Also co-produced a really beautiful healing UNION ceremony between men and women with close friends of mine.
(little BTS of Worshipper’s: EROS Show with tha girls Qristine & Danielle).
FEBRUARY: We produced our 4th Worshipper Show: EROS, and sold out once again. Sharing a retelling on Eros & Psyche, one of the greatest love stories of all time, it was rewritten as a testament to the power of love and the depths it asks us to go to rise to great heights. Weaving in LOADS of my personal pain + heartbreak from 2023, it was a pretty personal tribute to the depths of love I felt (and also had to let go of).
MARCH: Sonja and I founded the Holy Eros Institute organization and officiated our collaboration as an incorporation. Laying the foundations for supporting others in their journeys of authentic & healthy relationships with love and sexuality, we took concrete steps into laying the first bricks of this beautiful dream. I also had the privilege of learning DeArmouring work from teacher Nathan Marcuzzi in a weekend training held in Vancouver, and spoke on the Psychedelics and the Divine Feminine panel for the Flying Sage Community.
(My birthday with my fellow Queens)
APRIL: Under the Holy Eros Institute, Sonja and I launched Healing Eros Summit: featuring over 14+ guest experts and facilitators on the realms of love, sex, and relating. We reached over 400+ people from around the world in various online workshops, panels, and talks held over the four days, and supported hundreds in their own personal healings. It was a beautiful experience to help facilitate and hold space for — as we also launched the Holy Eros Community, an experiment that would support community around love, sex and relationships. Oh and I turned 41! How did that happen?!
MAY: Alongside supporting personal & group clients, I had the unique privilege to support a VIP client in a profound REBIRTH Ritual, where as part of his graduation with me, he facilitated his own ritual experience for a private group of close friends and colleagues. It was such a beautiful experience that we had it turned into a little film.
(Stroking the Giant Clit at Otherworld 2024)
JUNE: The first summer festival marked a milestone: supporting ‘The Temple of Eternal Nectar’ — a first-year camp at Otherworld, our local Burning Man Regional. It was also the first time my ex and I collaborated positively since our split 9 years ago, co-parenting our daughter at her debut burner event. Together, we created a meaningful experience, showing her what healthy communication and teamwork between split parents can look like. I also had the honour of gracing stages the Awaken Her Summit led by Deidre Sirianni and facilitating a workshop at the Heart of Tantra Festival.
JULY: Mid-summer brought me to what I’ve decided will be my last Bass Coast Festival for the foreseeable future. Bass festivals have always been my therapy, fuelling me for the year ahead—but this time, something felt different, almost flat. I found myself navigating the emotional weight of memories from the previous year, when I’d shared a profound experience with a former lover. While it was incredible to introduce one of my best friends to her first Bass Coast, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d outgrown this particular chapter in my journey.
AUGUST: Not only did I have the honour to sit with Aya in a special and intimate journey in my own home facilitated by some incredible humans from Brazil, but I also got to sit with the medicine of Acacia and Jurema for the first time. Holy bananas…def a journey not for the faint of heart, I was dropped straight into the cosmic heart of humanity and cracked wide fucking open. I also shared my ‘Primal Magic’ workshop at Enliven Festival and applied for (and got rejected;) from TEDx.
SEPTEMBER: The onset of fall saw me travelling to Washington with two dear sisters to what was the first co-ed Convergence led by Sacred Sons. A tender and sacred container for healing between the masculine and feminine, some key highlights we watching a women’s sparring match, being part of the Lion Heart crew, contributing to a open-hearted welcome-back to the men, and witnessing the rise of the Divine Masculine. Returning home open-hearted and tender, my voice was included in the Flying Sage’s ‘Sex & Psychaelics Panel’.
OCTOBER: I helped co-produce two large in-person gatherings: Worshipper’s ‘The Passion’ show and a Haunted Halloween party in collaboration with the Flying Sage Community. Our Worshipper show got a mention in Vice Mag as well as some cheeky bro’s podcast. The Halloween party sparked much-needed discussions about cultural appropriation and conflict resolution, paving the way for honest conversations about fostering inclusivity and honoring diverse cultures. It was a timely reminder, during a season when the veil is thin, of the importance of respecting boundaries and traditions.
NOVEMBER: Death came to collect my grandfather in November. Like a father to me, his death hit us all pretty hard, though we had been anticipating it for a few years. The aggressive cancer took him in the early morning before we could say our goodbyes in person. The loss of his presence struck me deep and sent me into a deep period of reflection, which coincided with my decision to double down on my soul’s purpose and enroll into a year-long Somatic Sexologist certification.
DECEMBER: This month was really all about family. My small family rallied to be with grandma during Christmas as she spent her first holiday in 49- years without her beloved Alan by her side. Between tears, hugs, and scrabble games, we tenderly touched on her next chapter and the changes that would come once snow melted and spring poked through. Some additional notables in the fall and winter months was trying fire spinning for the first time and getting my feet wet in DJing.
(Ashae and I in our first impromptu photoshoot)
Another notable was that I became snake mama to yet another snake friend - Ashae. A borneo short-tail, this gigantic creature (all 5.5’ of him) was very intimidating, even though we had met on quote a few occassions. This noisy breed can tend to sound quite aggressive, and taking him in was another intiation on facing fear head on. I’m happy to report that we’re best buddies now, and he’s as gentle as a puppy.
Some of the lows (that most people LOVE to omit from their personal yearly reflections), which I find very important to include here, was the deep inner work I had to do around reclamation of my power from a former relationship.
My confidence had been knocked down pretty bad, and it took many many medicine ceremonies, journalling, and deep discussions with loved ones to really shift the narrative.
While not only energetically offering forgiveness and compassion, I had to really sit with the fact that the relationship breakdown really wasn’t attributed to my “too muchness” and “being too fiery.”
IT. simply. was. not. a. fit.
And though I revisited this theme many many times over the course of the year (like fuck…how deep this one feels 🫤), it really came to a beautiful climax towards the end of the year with a potent Cord-cutting 5-MEO DMT Ceremony and my first ever Ketamine ceremony.
The Ketamine medicine swirled around me, letting me feel into the centre of my emotional landscape — and gently whispered that “one cannot destroy the love they have felt for someone, and to try and do so is crazy making”. I had to accept that the love I felt for that human will always remain, somewhere inside of me, and that I can be at peace with it, instead of wishing it away.
Of course, this medicine journey only prepared me for what was a full fucking circle moment. As I shared in my next soon to be published book (being released this year with other co-authors), I had a run-in with this person last NYE (2023), which was very negative for many reasons I won’t go into here. Negative in that it was the complete opposite of how I desire conscious uncoupling in a partnership to look and feel like.
Needless to say, I could feel some strange cycle was coming up again —and it was up to me to break it once and for all. I had leaked so much damn energy to this person, and I had to really FEEL that the love I had felt in that connection was mine!
As NYE approached, I just knew I would see him again, and it would be an opportunity to establish powerful energetic boundaries while staying in the energy of loving forgiveness and detachment.
Our beautiful community threw a delicious & intentional NYE Dance + Medicine Ceremony, bringing us deep into a portal of collective transformation, donned in white and sparkles.
As the medicine began to come on in my body while I found a good pocket of grooving on the dance, the thought bubbled up in my heart, “God, I hope he didn’t not come tonight because he knew I would be here and miss this beautiful evening”. As these waves of forgiveness gently gushed from my heart space, while delicious bass stirred in my belly, my gaze was brought across the dance floor and I finally sighted him.
And throughout the evening, I just gave space.
I didn’t expect a damn word, acknowledgment nor apology.
I didn’t give him one ounce of my energy, and I stayed in my own —elated, joyous and passionate.
I knew the energy I embodied. An energy of sovereignty + self-love.
And while I can’t say the same for him…it was a beautiful experience of knowing my worth, and that we truly are not aligned in the same energy.
As the clock struck midnight — I knew I had won and that 2025 was my fucking year—for love, abundance and being in greater service.
HOW 2024 HAS INFORMED THE TRANSITION INTO INTO 2025:
Year of the Snake. How absolutely apropo.
While I didn’t meet my Soulmate in 2024, I’m trusting the Universe has been preparing my heart in order to receive him this year, and all of the letting go was part of the process. Hereby claiming my Hot Hunky Husband for 2025!
Alongside reaffirming that I am really fucking good at the work I do in supporting others to develop a healthy relationship with their sexuality…..( I supported SOOOOO many 1-1 clients this past year!), I’m aiming to share my knowledge in a bigger way this year…on more stages, podcasts, events and retreats!
I also reclaimed my birth name in a bigger way…Amy.
She’ll be coming along for the ride a whole lot more in 2025.
And…there’s way more to share….like an international move soon, and a new dream project.
But for now, I’ll bring the attention back to you.
What are you leaving behind in 2024 and what is coming with you into the new year?
xoxo Phoenix
p.s. wanna send me a note or write a comment. Please do…I read each and every one of them. While I sometimes forget people read what I write, I’m grateful when they do —it fuels me to keep sharing and baring this bloody beating heart.